Hi SteAnnesIT.
I'm sorry you're annoyed.
It's actually quite common for end users to administer their systems themselves. That's pretty much the reason
www.MitelForums.com exist.
Same for the Mitel User Group (MUG).
To answer a couple of your questions:
1) Mitel doesn't work with end customer directly. Mitel manages all tech support through their dealers. If you have technical questions you can (a) work with your dealer (b) ask your question on this forum.
2) If there is a problem between you and your dealer there is a process to change dealers. Your maintenance VAR doesn't have to be the one who sold it to you. If you need a change, contact Mitel, let them know that you need to change VARS and why. Changing VARS doesn't happen that often but it happens frequently enough that there is a process with Mitel in place.
There are some warranty questions that may need to be addressed with your current dealer. They many have policies in place that if you self administer then your software warranty may be voided. This isn't a Mitel policy but a dealer policy. Some dealer require you to attend a Mitel admin class. That's probably a good idea in general.
Other dealers feel as you apparently do, (This is my opinion also) that if you bought the system then you own the password. If you muck something up they'll simply bill you to fix it.
I've no idea what your specific situation is but a conversation with your dealer is a good place to start.
Ralph