When we upgraded to 5330 phones from the 4025, someone asked me for "instructions" for this new phone. I figured it was self explanatory.. its just a phone! But I wrote up a set of instructions, and people are still commenting about it today after a few years. So figured I'd post it here in case anyone needs.
BE SURE TO READ IT BEFORE SENDING as recipients definitely need a sense of humor.
-----Original Message-----
Subject: New Phones.
Most of you will notice that you have new phones on your desks. On the contrary, some of you may not notice... There has been talk of possibly needing instructions or training for these phones, hence this email.
Occasionally, your phone may start making strange electronic type noises in a particular rhythmic cadence. If this happens, pick up the detachable (although corded) portion on the left part of the phone, and align it in some fashon near your ear and mouth, and utter some type of appropriate salutation of your choosing. If you were successful in your greeting, the individual (or possibly group of individuals) on the other end of the connection and you will engage into a conversation. Upon completion of such aforementioned colloquy, you shall return the audio coupling device to rest back upon the location where you first retrieved it.
Conversely, there may be a time when you desire to beckon another person. If this is the case, pick up the handset once again, and depress the numeric digits corresponding to the telecommunications address of the person whom you wish to summon. This time, they will respond with the acclamation of their own choosing, and you (plural) can then continue directing your various verbal missives.
There are various bizarrely notated buttons on the phone to do odd things.
At the top, there is a button with a picture of a single mountain on it. This is used to increase the volume of the various (artificial and human) noises emitted from your phone. Additionally, below that button, there is a button with a 90 degree rotated greater than sign. Oddly, this is to REDUCE the volume of the noises. Why they chose to use a sideways GREATER than sign to LOWER the noise is beyond me. To the right of those two buttons, there is a button with a sort of wireless network logo on it. Yet again, for reasons beyond my understanding, they chose such a logo to enable/disable the speakerphone option. These phones are indeed two way speakerphones, and to my understanding, they actually work. On the far right, the "No Plankton" (from SpongeBob) logo is used to mute the phone so the other person cannot hear what you are saying. This button will illuminate when active.
Below that group, there is a blue button with a picture of a phone and a printout behind it, Use this when you are bored and desire to break your phone by trying to add more options to the main screen. The button next to this (circle with an x in it) is NOT used to play tic-tac-toe, but instead to cancel whatever operation you are currently attempting, including ending a conversation (if on speakerphone for example). Next button on the right (123 with a circular arrow) will redial the last number attempted. You can see this number (before pressing redial) on the top of your screen.
Red button (below blue) is the hold button.
To the right of the hold button is the pigtailed girl button. If you want to start up a group of people who like to all talk (as girls typically do; hence the button design), use this button. Also, use this same button to transfer the call to a girl with pigtails. I've tried it, and it works for girls without pigtails, and even men too; not sure if thats a bug, or just added flexibility. If you are talking to someone, hit that, and dial another number, then hang up, you have transferred, if you dont hang up, you are conferencing everyone.
On the far right, the flying envelope key has theoretically something to do with voicemail, but we've yet to get it to work. =)
On the top of the screen, there should be a button for phone book. You can use this to find other people's numbers. Enter their name via the keypad as if you were sending a text message (i.e. hit "5" three times to type the letter "L", then wait a little before pressing the next letter/number). After just a few letters, you can then hit the "lookup key" on the main display, then use Next and Previous buttons to scroll through the various people.
If you venture into the area of the blue button mentioned earlier, you can program buttons for 3 screens. The bottom arrows on the phone control access to these other screens. For example, you might want to put auto-dial numbers on screen 3.
One thing we may be automatically adding to everyone's phone is a "Call History" button, where you can access missed, dialed, and received calls. You can also add this key yourself via running the gauntlet of the blue button.
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I got a reply from Dave:
At 01:51 PM 9/16/2011, Dave wrote:
due to the close proximity of our phones many of us changed the ring tone (on the old phones) so we could easily tell them apart.
I checked the online instructions and they say to leave the receiver on the hook and dial 398, then scroll through the ringtones using the up/down buttons.
However, doing this results in an "invalid number" and does not allow ringtone selection.
Is ringtone selection globally disabled or am I merely too stupid to deserve a phone?
Thanks - Dave
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Dave, I figured I'd send this to everyone, so others have a better chance of breaking their phones.
To change your ring tone, you must first create yourself a superkey. Do this by pressing the Blue key, then push the button for Settings.
Then Programmable Keys
Press an unused key where you want the superkey to appear (you have 3 pages, you get at other pages using the bottom right/left arrows). Press a key.
Next, is a list of features you can assign that key... you want superkey, so use the right page key to find it (on page 5 of 6). Press the key labeled superkey.
next, press save.
then close
close (again)
Now you are back at the home key. To finally adjust ringer, press the superkey once, then cycle through the menu on top (pressing No a bunch of times until Ringer Adjust appears, and press the top key to select it.
next, press top key again to change pitch, Your phone will start ringing. Use the up and down arrows to change the pitch. When done, press the key to the right of the blue key to exit.
See how easy these new phones are?
